her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
