I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
