I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
