sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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