This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
