he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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