Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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