i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
no you cant smoke seaweed
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
