that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
