I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
