yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
