Having a random hookup so left but love u
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
