i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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