i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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