I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
