Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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