ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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