So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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