I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
