some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
