I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
