This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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