Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
