woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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