i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
