I accidentally had phone sex last night
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
