i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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