Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
false alarm. still invincible.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
