Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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