There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
