Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
my poor anus
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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