We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Randomize
