we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
