hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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