Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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