I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
No I am not eating basil off your cock
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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