You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
