The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
MIDGETS
????
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
