I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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