i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
