"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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