he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
dude. I can hear the air.
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