Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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