she looked like the bat from fern gully.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
