Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
