i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
