So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
