4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
