did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
