So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
